Gratitiude

I am thankful for my doctors who are so concerned about me. Last week I had an appointment at the University of Utah with the nurse practitioner there that I've seen a couple times. Chris was able to go with me. We talked about basically the same things we've talked about before. She wants me to continue to do what Dr. Smith is having me do as far as prednisone. He's having me take 30 mg right now, and then go down to 25, and then jump down to 5 and start taking another steroid called Entocort that has about 1/10th the steroid in it that prednisone does. That way I can get off of it faster, which I will be really excited about. I hate that it makes me not sleep well and irritated. I am also taking an antibiotic right now that I think is helping. I've only tried it once before and it was only for a few days, so we are trying it for longer this time. The NP at the U of U said if this doesn't work then my next option is probably Remicaid, the medication that is only available in an IV. I would have to get it about every 6-8 weeks. It's something that I've talked about with doctors for 6 years and it's always been the last resort, but now it seems it is getting closer. She also is having me go back in December to have a sigmoidoscopy there in Utah. I had one in February here in Twin when I was in the hospital which didn't show much, but she wants to check again. She wants to make sure that they look above my pouch to make sure that there is not active ulcerative colitis still going on. Dr. Smith said he looked there but that he wants a second opinion. This sounds bad, but she's hoping that by December when I've tapered off the prednisone again I will get sick, and then the test will show something's wrong, and I do too. It's frustrating to feel so crummy when everything looks great. The NP in Utah brought up my weight and said that I looked a lot skinnier than last time she saw me (remember last time she was so proud that I had gained wt)! I admitted that yes, I have had a poor appetite and lost weight again. I have missed a lot of work lately too and have hardly any PTO hours (paid time off) left. That's not good. My boss is very understanding though so I am really lucky. I have felt better the past 3-4 days than I have since before I got married, so that's a good sign. I have decided that for whatever reason I just have to deal with this, so I might as well try to have a good attitude. It has been harder to deal with lately because it has just been so constant and won't get better, but I know it will eventually. Sorry if this post has too much complaining, I won't complain anymore after this. :) Just have to keep being patient, praying, and thanking the Lord for the wonderful things I do have in my life! :)